The Unwritten Rules of Doing Business

Trust, Culture and the Realities of International Shipping and Commodity Trading

International business is built not only on contracts, but also on trust, communication and cultural understanding.

After years of dealing with people across borders, I have learned that the most difficult part of an international transaction is not always the price, the contract or the vessel. Sometimes, it is understanding what the other person really means.

The deal behind the deal

In shipping and commodity trading, we are trained to look at the numbers: deadweight, draft, laycan, freight, demurrage, quality, quantity, payment terms, credit exposure and delivery schedules. But there is another side to international business that is rarely written into a charterparty or a sale-and-purchase agreement. It is the human side.

Over the years, I have sat across tables from people whose business habits, expectations and ways of communicating were very different from my own. I have experienced meetings that felt extremely positive but led nowhere, conversations that appeared inconclusive but eventually became productive, and situations where a simple misunderstanding created unnecessary complications.

A meeting can be successful socially and unsuccessful commercially. Someone may welcome you warmly, offer generous hospitality and speak enthusiastically about a project. You may leave feeling that the deal is almost done. Then the days pass, the promised answer does not arrive, and you discover that the person you thought was making the decision was waiting for someone else.

I have come to believe that understanding people is every bit as important as understanding the transaction. The contract tells you what the parties have agreed. Culture often helps explain how they arrived there—and whether they are likely to follow through.

“Inshallah”: a promise, or a polite way of keeping the door open?

There is perhaps no expression in international business that I have heard interpreted in so many different ways as inshallah. Literally, it means “if God wills”. It is a familiar expression across many Muslim communities, acknowledging that the future is not entirely within human control.

In a commercial conversation, its meaning depends on context. “We will send the documents tomorrow, inshallah” may be a sincere intention. It may also be a careful way of avoiding an absolute commitment. And, yes, in certain business situations, one begins to wonder whether it means “tomorrow”, “one day”, or “please do not ask me again just yet”. I say this with affection, not criticism.

I would never assume that inshallah means “never”. That would be unfair and often completely wrong. But I have learned not to treat it as a firm deadline either. I smile, respect the expression, and ask the practical question: “Of course. Shall we agree that I should expect the documents by Thursday afternoon?”

Respect the language. Confirm the commitment.

The wonderful meeting that produces nothing

A warm meeting is not necessarily a productive meeting—and a difficult meeting is not necessarily a failed one. Some people measure success by what has been decided. Others measure it by the relationship established and the confidence created. In some environments, the first meeting is largely about getting to know one another; in others, people want to get straight to the numbers.

I enjoy the conversation, respect the relationship and take the time to understand the other person. But before leaving, I try to establish what has actually happened. Have we agreed a price? Is it an indication or an offer? Has anyone authorised it? Are there conditions? Who is responsible for the next step? When should we speak again? A few friendly questions can prevent weeks of confusion.

The person in the room may not be the person who decides

This is one of the most important lessons I have learned in international shipping and commodity trading. You can spend hours negotiating with someone knowledgeable, confident and enthusiastic, only to discover that the final decision belongs to somebody else: a company owner, family member, board, senior executive, financing institution or government authority.

I have learned to look beyond titles and introductions. Who owns the company? Who controls the vessel? Who can approve the payment? Who has authority to sign? Who can stop the deal? These are not rude questions. They are essential commercial questions. A person may have excellent connections but no power to commit; another may have a modest title but be the person whose approval is essential.

The art of saying no without saying no

“Let us think about it.” “We will discuss internally.” “It may be difficult.” “We should find a way.” These expressions can mean many things: genuine interest, a need for time, lack of authority or a polite refusal. The mistake is to interpret them according to our own habits.

I have learned that it is often better to make it easy for the other person to be honest. Instead of asking, “Are you agreeing or not?”, ask, “What is the main obstacle from your side?” This gives the other person room to explain without feeling cornered—and helps reveal whether the problem is commercial, procedural or simply timing.

A few observations from different business cultures

These are not rules for judging nationalities. No country has one personality, and no businessperson should be reduced to a stereotype. They are starting points; industry, generation, ownership and individual character matter enormously.

The Persian Gulf and wider Middle East

In parts of the Persian Gulf and the wider Middle East, personal relationships, hospitality and reputation can play an important role. A meeting may begin with conversation and coffee before anyone gets close to the commercial subject. I have learned to appreciate this: it is not wasted time; it can be part of establishing the relationship.

But hospitality and commercial commitment are different things. A warm welcome does not mean a deal has been approved. A strong personal connection does not remove the need to verify authority, payment arrangements or contractual obligations. I take inshallah as an expression deserving respect—not as a substitute for a confirmed date.

Greece and the United Kingdom

In Greek business, personal relationships and reputation can be especially important, particularly in family-owned businesses and shipping. Familiarity can be valuable, but it should not replace clarity. A good relationship should make it easier to discuss difficult issues, not make them disappear.

British business often places importance on preparation, understatement and the written record. “That may be difficult” can signal a much stronger objection than it first appears. I have learned not to mistake a calm tone for a lack of seriousness. A friendly conversation can coexist with very strict contractual expectations.

China and Japan

China is central to global trade, shipping and commodities, but no single approach works for every company or person. In some settings, hierarchy, internal alignment and long-term relationships matter. I would prepare thoroughly, show respect, clarify the approval process and confirm important commercial points in writing. A positive conversation is encouraging; it is not the same as final approval.

In some Japanese corporate environments, preparation, consistency and internal consensus are highly valued. Silence may signal consideration rather than agreement or disagreement. I would provide materials in advance, avoid unnecessary public pressure and allow time for internal discussion.

Germany, the United States, Turkey and India

In many German and northern European settings, preparation, technical detail and reliability matter. Bring data, clear responsibilities and realistic schedules. In many American business environments, clear objectives and individual accountability are valued; state the proposition early, but verify who can approve it. In Turkey, personal rapport and practical problem-solving can be important; keep authority, currency, payment security and timing clear. India is exceptionally diverse: identify the decision-maker and approval process, and confirm exactly what has been agreed. Patience is useful. Vagueness is not.

Latin America and Africa

Neither Latin America nor Africa should be approached as a single business culture. Differences between countries, industries, languages and legal systems are substantial. Understand the actual market and the specific people involved. Local expertise can be invaluable, but claims about connections, permits, financing or operational capability must still be verified.

What I have learned about trust

People often use the word trust without asking what they really mean by it. Does it mean that someone is friendly, has a good reputation, has performed similar transactions, is financially capable, has authority to sign, or will stand by an agreement when circumstances become difficult? These are not the same thing.

I can enjoy someone's company and still need to verify their company. I can respect a businessperson and still insist on proper documentation. That is not cynicism. It is experience. The strongest business relationships are not those in which nobody asks difficult questions. They are those in which difficult questions can be asked without destroying the relationship.

The difference between patience and being played

International business requires patience. Genuine delays may involve approvals, banking procedures, regulatory checks, inspections, legal advice or operational complications. But there is a point at which patience becomes an excuse for avoiding a decision.

I look for progress rather than reassurance. Has a document been produced? Has an approval been obtained? Has the responsible person been introduced? Has the next step been completed? If the answer is always “soon”, it may be time to ask: “I understand these things take time. To plan properly on my side, could we agree what will happen next and by when?” It is respectful, practical and difficult to misunderstand.

The Latin wisdom of doing business

Pacta sunt servanda.
Agreements must be kept.

Verba volant, scripta manent.
Spoken words fly away; written words remain.

Audi alteram partem.
Hear the other side.

Festina lente.
Make haste slowly.

My personal rules for international business

1. Enjoy the relationship, but understand the transaction.
2. Never confuse hospitality with commitment.
3. Find out who really makes the decision.
4. Listen carefully to what is not being said.
5. Treat cultural expressions with respect, but clarify their practical meaning.
6. Do not assume silence means agreement.
7. Do not assume confidence means authority.
8. Put important points in writing, even when the relationship is excellent.
9. Be patient with genuine processes, but look for evidence of progress.
10. Never let the excitement of a potential deal overcome your judgement.

Beyond the contract

The longer I spend in international business, the more I realise that the most important skill is not simply knowing how to negotiate. It is knowing how to understand people.

A vessel can be inspected. A cargo can be sampled. A price can be calculated. A contract can be reviewed by lawyers. But trust is more complicated. It is built through behaviour, tested under pressure and sometimes revealed only when something goes wrong.

I have learned to appreciate different ways of doing business without abandoning my own standards. Patience can be a virtue, but endless uncertainty is not. A warm welcome can be genuine without being a promise, and a direct question can be respectful if it is asked properly.

I have learned to smile when I hear inshallah—while still agreeing on the date.

The best negotiator is not the person who always gets their way. It is the person who knows how to make a deal work without losing the relationship—or themselves—in the process.